Tired and Ready to Move on

Today, it seems was another of those days.
It seems I have attracted some craziness into my life. I think I have it figured out this time though. I think I finally know the answer, and am holding the key to the better life behind the door.
I have been reading this book called, "Women Who Run with the Wolves." It is a very enlightening book and empowering on women's lives. It compares a woman to a wolf, and tells of stories that show soul-loss and then retrieval.
I have realized that I haven't been true to my "wild woman" nature. I want to run with the wolves but have been in a cage for so long stifled, that when the door is opened, I don't want to leave it. I have the passion, but can't act because of losses in my earlier life that I have never confronted, that left me bruised and whimpering.
I realize I haven't been the best friend, mother, lover, family member. I have whimpered too many times, haven't got up on my feet, and don't know how. I have to confront my captors, but they held me in chains so long ago, or I just ran away, that I don't know how to go back and confront. I have just been hiding out, and mostly from myself. I have asked for help, and when advice is offered, I don't know what to believe, what to take, and realize I shouldn't have asked to begin with. I need to ask myself, for I have divine knowing, and instinct.
I hope soon I will find the way to overcome these captors. I know the first step is the knowing that I am captive, I am pretty sure the next is breaking free, but how to do that? I am definitely tired, and definitely ready to move on from this space I am in, ready to break the chains, and enjoy the free life I have never known. Ready to not be called out as a whimp, or passivist, or non-confrontational, or too amiable because of my psychological cage. I am ready to bite, and fight, and break free!